Microsoft being sued again on Wed Aug 21 14:01:10 2002

by vcv

Hello fellow losers.

I am posting here to inform you all of the lawsuit I am bringing against Microsoft. I would appreciate all the support I can get in this lawsuit.

As you all know, Microsoft was in court for "integrating" Internet Explorer into their operating system, Windows. It was set as default browser out of the box, and despite being able to use whatever browser you wanted anyways, Microsoft was being sued for it.

So today, I have decided to sue Microsoft for "integrating" notepad into their Windows operating system, making it the default text editor, and thus stiffling competitors! I believe it to be an unfair advantage Microsoft has over other companies that make and distribute text editors. Microsoft should not be allowed to "integrate" notepad into their own operating system!

Again, I appreciate all the support I get in this lawsuit.. Thank you.

5 comments, 5 are new.

Prizym Blows Cow For Crack on Mon Aug 19 14:12:32 2002

by Lithium

Late today we heard word that Prizym finally finished blowing that cow for the dime of crack he was promised. Due to the enormous size of the cow's member it took prizym 3 days to complete the task. This is a huge step backwards for crackwhores everywhere.

2 comments, 2 are new.

Web languages banned on Wed Aug 14 15:20:18 2002

by vcv

A large number of languages used for webpages have been banned from being used. Languages include PHP, ruby, ASP(vbs/js), assembly, c++, and coldfusion. Perl was exempt from this banning, and will be the only language that web developers are allowed to use from this point on.

Some people were outraged at this. "I love my midgets!" exclaimed one web n00b named Steve.

The person responsible for these bannings chose to remain anonymous and was unavailable for comment.

4 comments, 4 are new.

Liek under investigation by SEC on Thu Jul 25 17:03:51 2002

by Sloat

This just in: The SEC has been checking the accounting practices of liek.net for a week now, after an anonymous tipster told them that Matt of liek.net had been recording the site's assets as liabilities.

"We can't figure out why anyone would do this," An SEC spokesperson said. "Normally, when you cheat on accounting, you GIVE yourself money."

Matt of liek.net, said that he isn't in charge of the books and that one of the other founders is. "This is the last time Lithium does anything," he said.

Lithium was unavailable for comment.

--Sloat News Service [7.25.02]

2 comments, 2 are new.

Moo on Sun Jul 14 10:38:39 2002

by matt

Boring.... somone post damnit.... ah well... here's my colorgenics profile:

You feel as if you have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and you go about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times you get depressed and you try to compensate for your 'missed opportunities' by living your life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as 'living with exaggerated intensity'. In this way you feel you can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that you are right.

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognize the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, 'Simpatico'.

You are a dreamer and you seek perfection in any relationship that you may establish. Some of your ideas and standards are over the top so it may be a good idea to review your perception of life and accept people for what they are - not for what you would like them to be.

You are frustrated and stressed. You appreciate the finer things in life but at all times you appear to stay aloof, critical of everything and everyone about you. You will not be carried away by your emotions and you refuse to trust anyone or any situation unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore, you keep a strict and watchful control on your feelings as you must know exactly where you stand at all times. You demand complete sincerity as a protection against your own tendency to be too trusting.

You really would like to be completely uninhibited - to let your hair down - but you are held back by your sense of logic and rationality, since you realize that by simple stupidity you could lose everything - whatever that may be.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.

erm... very true.

4 comments, 4 are new.